Tips 2

Talk about your expectations

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A new baby arouses fresh thoughts, feelings and expectations in many people. Talk about this with your partner, health personnel or others you trust.


Talk about what you’re looking forward to and what you’re dreading. Think through how you’re going to divide your time between job, family and personal life. Are you a couple expecting a child? Talk with each other about your expectations so that you’re better coordinated.

Expecting a baby, whether for the first time or after having had children before, usually arouses joy and expectation. At the same time, everyday life soon kicks in. You quickly have to strike a balance between being a new parent – perhaps with older children at home – and relating to work, friends and other family members. Whether you’re single or in a partnership, it’s important to reflect on and talk about your expectations and find out how you can best organise life with a new baby.

Virtually everyone who’s expecting their first child finds that this creates a great sense of anticipation. You’re certain to have some thoughts about who this little person is, how they’ll behave and who they most resemble. It’s not unusual to feel both joy and dread, particularly as the birth gets close. Nor is it unusual for the mother and father/partner to give emphasis to different concerns before the child enters the world. Talk with your family doctor, midwife or health visitor about the thoughts and feelings you get. And, not least, share your thoughts about and expectations of the time ahead with each other. Because one thing is certain – life will change. It’ll become completely different.

Even though you’ve already had children, a new baby can represent a big upheaval. You quickly forget what it was like to have an infant around who constantly demands adult attention. Even if you’ve been through childbirth and the post-natal period before, it’s nevertheless not the same when you have other children at home. It’s not unusual for kids to have different expectations of getting a little brother or sister. Talk with them about their concerns, and take their questions seriously. The whole family is best served if each member is as well-prepared as possible, in their different ways.


Your time as parents of an infant is exciting, but also hectic and demanding. It’s quite normal to feel both joy and dread. There are no ready answers, but talking about your expectations can make you better prepared.

Innholdet på denne siden er utviklet i samarbeid med psykologspesialist Anders Dovran og psykolog og fagansvarlig Stian Tobiassen, begge ansatt på Stine Sofie Senteret.